Our private lives have are not just important to us and our immediate families. This does not mean we can do what we want. We should seek the guidance and council of our leaders. If not our acts will have far reaching consequences we could never have imagined.
[G‑d told Moses,] “Each person . . . will remain attached to the inheritance of his fathers’ tribe.” Numbers 36:7
The Rebbe explains:” The laws of inheritance, although an integral part of the Torah, were only given by G‑d after five adult, unmarried and orphaned sisters – the only children of a member of the tribe of Manasseh – claimed that they were entitled to their father’s portion of the Land of Israel. Their private petition to Moses led to the revelation of sections of the Torah that subsequently became binding on the Jewish people as a whole.
This teaches us that we should never think that our “private” lives concern only us or our immediate circles of family or friends, and that therefore we are free to conduct ourselves in these matters however we see fit. Just as these women consulted with Moses regarding what appeared to be a purely personal matter, so should we consult with qualified rabbinic authorities regarding even the most seemingly insignificant aspects of life, for even our “private” actions have wider implications that we may not immediately foresee.1 Hitva’aduyot 5747, vol. 4, pp. 152–153