The Sixties Radical- Azriel


Jealously is a double edged sword. It can be either good or bad depending on how one learns to apply it. Racheal was jealous of her sister Leah. Instead of thinking her sister would lessen her self-worth Rachael knew in her heart her sister Leah’s fertility was due to her righteousness. This drove Rachael to seek G-d and change her ways.

This is a good example for me to follow. Instead of pointing the fingers at others and blaming them for my failures I have learned over the years to learn to see my fault and work to change my attitude. Blaming others almost killed me.

My first sponsor in AA held up a mirror and asked me what am I looking at? I said me. He said you are looking at the problem. The problem is me.

G-d has blessed me with continuous sobriety since December 16th 1971. And this is a miracle for someone like me. I begged for justice and G-d gave me mercy. My justice would have been doing the Thorazine shuffle down the halls of the nuthouse.

I couldn’t walk, talk, and chew gum at the same time. I didn’t know whether to shit or go sailing. I used ripped a tube of tooth paste in half to open it. I was a complete animal.

Forty –five years later through a miracle from G-d, HaShem has blessed me with freedom from booze and drugs. G-d did a 180 in my life and now I am on my face seeking the face of G-d. I am  a Messianic Jew who is a follower of Yeshua. Yeshua is the master of my life.

L-rd make me clean so I can be properly prepared for the Messiah age that is upon us.

“Arriving in Aram, Jacob met Laban’s daughter Rachel shepherding her father’s flocks at the well outside the city. Rachel introduced him to Laban, who put him in charge of his flocks. Jacob asked to marry Rachel in return for working for Laban for seven years. Laban agreed, but at the last minute forced Jacob to marry Rachel’s older sister Leah. Laban then allowed Jacob to marry Rachel as well, on condition that he work for another seven years afterward. Leah gave birth to four sons in succession, while Rachel remained childless.

Rachel saw that she had not borne Jacob any children; Rachel was jealous of her sister [Leah]. Genesis 30:1

Destructive, petty jealousy is born of the fear that the other person’s successes will lessen our own self-worth. In contrast, Rachel attributed Leah’s fertility to her righteousness, and was therefore jealous of her sister’s good deeds. This sort of jealousy is constructive, since it spurs us on to improve ourselves. Our sages similarly state that jealousy among Torah scholars increases wisdom. Jealousy can be a positive force in our lives when we learn to apply it correctly.1 Bava Batra 21a. Hitva’aduyot 5745, vol. 2, p. 870, citing Or HaTorah, Bereishit, vol. 1, 218a ff.

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