My teacher Pastor Steve taught me that dying to self is a must if I want to be a vessel for G-d’s work. This mean I must set aside self and learn how to be a manager of my family. I must lead by example and by doing G-d’s work and what is right for my family.
My hard head is learning that it is G-d, Family, Church and Job.
“On the 1st of Iyar, 2449, G‑d told Moses to take a census of the Jewish men in preparation for their conscription into the Jewish army. This census excluded the tribe of Levi, who were exempt from military service in order to serve in the Tabernacle. The men were counted by families, which were then grouped by tribes.
[G‑d told Moses,] “Take a census of all the congregation of the Israelites by families. Numbers 1:2
The Torah records only the total number of men, and not the number of families, in each tribe. Nevertheless, G‑d had the families counted, in order to stress the centrality of the family in Judaism.
Our individual and national goals are certainly important, but the Torah also demands of us the selflessness necessary to forge the family unit. A husband and wife are two separate people, with their own natures, desires, and even missions in life; yet each must work for and work with the other, completing and complementing each other and merging into one harmonious, loving unit.
The strife and breakdown of communication from which the world suffers stem from selfishness. In contrast, the Torah commands us to love our neighbors as ourselves. The primary setting in which this commandment is fulfilled is that of our families. Inasmuch as loving our fellow Jew is an expression of our love of G‑d, loving our fellow Jew enhances our love of G‑d. Love of G‑d, in turn, brings us to love His Torah and study it – not merely out of our obligation to do so, but out of love. This threefold love of our fellow Jew, of G‑d, and of the Torah ripples outward from the family setting and affects the entire world for the better.1 Likutei Sichot, vol. 8, pp. 209–215.